The Best Argument(s) We’ve Ever Had (27 Month Update)

November 26, 2012 by  
Filed under Our Recovery Journal

Anyone who has been married for a long time knows that “married life” is quite a bit different than “dating life.”  Marriage is a relationship of total acceptance.  It is best to go into it knowing that your spouse has some traits that are truly wonderful … as well as some that are definitely not wonderful.  If the wrong partner has been chosen, the arguments grow and the acceptance shrinks.  Their refusal to listen, communicate, or address annoying habits can close the door on the relationship.

The worst disagreements are born out of the tiniest of reasons.  Even the best relationships contain huge fights over small things.  Couples fight over a lack of eye contact when listening, poor word choice when speaking, and especially the dreaded “perceived” failure to appreciate all the things that a partner has to put up with on a daily basis.  These small things stem from our inherent insecurity.  We want to feel important, loved, and taken care of… especially by those we have chosen to spend our life with. Read more

Two Full Years of Recovery (24 Month Update)

July 14, 2012 by  
Filed under Our Recovery Journal

Some fears are best revealed after the fact.  Fears of roller coasters, heights, and even clowns can result in tense situations.  Remember back to the very first time that your parents let you go to the amusement park with friends.  Think about how no one else seemed to have any problem with the biggest rides.  How embarrassing it would be if they knew just how much anxiety you felt?  How dreadful if they knew how apprehensive you were about experiencing greater speeds and taller heights. Read more

Phone Usage Opens New Doors in Recovery

June 30, 2012 by  
Filed under Rehab and Recovery

Jess and I were among the last people to join the cell phone revolution. We always figured that we could leave the phone at home and just trust that things would work out the way we had planned them. We took our first plunge with prepaid phones and eventually graduated to regular phones with minimal function. Only recently did we graduate to phones with a keypad and camera. The phone became something more than way to talk to people. It became a way to share thoughts and memories instantly.

The purpose of upgrading to smartphones was to be able to take and share pictures of our new baby, because everybody knows that a regular camera just isn’t cool enough for this task. About two weeks prior to the due date we went to the wireless store. I wasn’t interested in learning about new phone functions, so I argued for keeping our low-functioning flip phones. Jessica wanted a more vibrant experience, and she sought out smartphones that would take and share great pics of our new little bundle of joy. As so often happens in a marriage, the wife was right and got her way. Read more

Emotional Wreckage (23 Month Update)

June 23, 2012 by  
Filed under Our Recovery Journal

The past few monthly updates have focused on physical gains that Jessica has been making.  They included the events leading up to foot surgery as well as the subsequent recovery.  During the past four months, Jess has endured four different apparatuses on her right foot.  Prior to surgery, she wore a hard brace.  While recovering from surgery, walking was made possible by a cast, boot, and then a brand new brace.

It is easy to focus on the physical part of the recovery.  Movement and endurance are measureable and days can be thought of as “good” or “bad” depending on the activity that took place.

It has been months since I have shared thoughts of the other parts of recovery.  One might think that the medical, mental, and emotional parts of her life have all been normal.  While the majority of our effort has gone into physical recovery, these other aspects have all played supporting roles during the past few months.

Read more

Successful Foot Surgery (21 Month Update)

April 22, 2012 by  
Filed under Our Recovery Journal

There is a big difference between acting tough and being tough.  Acting tough can be accomplished by narrowing your face into a scowl and staring down everyone who walks by.  Acting tough is a characteristic that is noticeable at all times.  It is a look that requires conscious effort to keep up.

On the other hand, being tough is a much more natural state.  Toughness doesn’t reveal itself until you are confronted with adversity.  Being tough means being able to deal with disappointment.  It means being able to handle pain and accept heartache.  A tough person is able to shrug off life’s setbacks and continue onward.

Toughness presents itself in the steadying hand of a true friend.  It manifests as the will to continue on a chosen path when that path winds through rugged terrain.  Toughness is smiling before you are to go in for surgery in order to make those around you feel more comfortable.  Toughness is a patient who shines with positivity during a frustrating hospital day.  Toughness is accepting that having your foot cut open and rebuilt is the best chance at permanent improvement.  Toughness is my wife Jessica.

Foot surgery doesn’t fully describe what Jessica dealt with during the past two months.  A better explanation would detail the number of surgical incisions (seven) and exactly what is meant by “lengthening the achilles.”  Her operation actually consisted of two separate and distinct surgeries. Read more

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